In the perpetual quest to get his script discovered—optioned—sold, the Unknown Screenwriter is in constant war with the very first level of filters, The Reader. The power of the reader in L.A. can be left for debate for another day. I have never called for a Death To Readers like Terry Rossio (Pirates Of The Caribbean)once did on his Wordplayer site. But one thing’s for sure—they are the ubiquitous gatekeepers of the Hollywood system, the cloned Imperial Stormtroopers that the noble broke-ass screenwriter must battle, foot soldiers that the Dark Lords actually in power use to filter the product coming at them. And yeah—I use the word purposely–product. Because, for the far greater portion, the job of the Reader is to reject you.
I’m interested in the mind of the reader. I’m intrigued by what it takes to get this lady to say YES to my script. I’m wondering why they say no so often, what their motivations and opinions are, and if there’s a way to manipulate a game that’s already manipulated for and by them. Meaning: To take back control of the process. I need to get my script PAST these folks, to the people with the folding money, to the power plays, to their bosses.
So, how the f^%$ do I go about doing that?
We’ve talked ad naseum on Script Gods on how to avoid these Judges of your work. Strategy 1: Don’t Need Their Bosses Money in the first place. By writing a Micro-Budget script producible by Kickstarter financing, made for $30,000 and distributed along digital platforms, I no longer need the approval of the Dark Lords, let alone they’re just-out-of-film-school Imperial Guard. Talk about revolution—don’t need your boss’ money, don’t need your recommendation, Jake…I’m just gonna go out and do it.
Same goes for making a $3,000 short film that gets into South by Southwest and bags you a manager. Or creating a web series with 100,000+ hits that puts you on an agent’s map. No query letters needed, no dusty Old School methods. They come to you. Say it with me like a hosanna: They come to you.
The only downside to this strategy is obvious. Not every story can be told for micro-budget money. So what happens when you have to play the L.A. game, play by their rules?
You get inside the head of your enemy, and find out what make it tick.
Click on the infographic at the top of the page. It’s from a reader who, like the Wikipedia elves, too the time to actually document in scientific detail the most unscientific discipline of evaluating screenplays. The methodology to this chart is something I’ve not seen before. Here before us is the empirical view into the mind of the Reader. Let’s seek for beating this fellow…
Looking at the far left, the first thing that stands is his sample size of 300 scripts, and his results. Of the 300 script, he outright rejected 203. He recommended only 8. In my experience as a craps dealer, I’m all about odds. It’s comforting to know up front that if you’re going the need-Hollywood-$$$-Old School method that you’re chances are about 100 to 1 in getting that spec script past the Reader. Ouch….
Digging deeper, we see some fairly predictable stats: Average page count: 107 pages. Male Hero-Male Villain was the most popular model with 137 scripts. Female Hero-Female Villain appeared in a mere 17 scripts. Male writers wrote 270 of the 300 scripts while women wrote only 22. You hear talk of the ageism and sexism in Hollywood, but you rarely get an objective number to back that up. Hmmm….
How about the genre you’re writing? What are readers looking at in Hollywood? Leading this reader’s list is HORROR with 49 scripts, followed by CRIME/GANGSTER at 41, THRILLER at 36, and BROAD COMEDY at 31. Bringing up the rear are BLACK COMEDY with 4 and WESTERNS with 2. Perhaps this explains why, if you’re like me and write black comedy not broad comedy, you can’t seem to gain traction with L.A. readers. It’s because unless you’re the Coen Brothers or Wes Anderson, the Dark Lords aren’t terribly interested in Black Comedy. Do know the movie you’re about to write, or are writing. If you need their money, know what the hell they’re buying.
Toward the middle of the infographic it gets really interesting, with the recurring problems that lead to rejection. What are the 292 scripts doing that don’t get this guy’s recommendation? Incredibly, he numbered them!
- TOP REASONS FOR REJECTION
•Story Starts Too Late: 69 scripts
• No Conflict: 57
• Formulaic: 53
• Not Enough Story: 53
I often talk in my Columbia College classes about the first five pages being valuable real estate. This isn’t anything revelatory. You’ve got an objective and quite critical eye looking at your labor of love that took six months to write—why would it surprise you that you have very little time to make an impression. The format must be professional. The characters original. The premise smoking. No confusion on the POV character, who I’m supposed to be following. Clean, clipped writing style. Force the eye down the page, vertically. Only essentials for dialogue and action lines. Pick a killer Point Of Entry. The movie must begin there. Establish four things: The world, the tone, the key characters, the beginnings of conflict. And don’t forget: The reader has tired eyes. Poor baby, what can I get you for your recommendation, a pipe and slippers? In addition to the blood, sweat, and tears that it took to write the freakin’ thing!
A few more categories for rejection that stood out to me:
- CHARACTER ISSUES
•Protagonist is a Standard Issue Hero: 39 scripts
• Characters are Stereotypes: 31
• Characters are Indistinguishable: 19
The first two categories here are pretty close to the same and are born from a guy who reads a TON of scripts being disappointed he has seen and seen the characters in your movie. Disconcerting, is it not, that 50,000+ screenplays a year are registered at the Writer’s Guild. In a world where everyone is writing a screenplay, how the f*&^ do you write a truly original character? This is a conversation better left for pure character discussion, but a good start might be to understand exactly what this reader calls “standard issue” and do just the reverse. Going against, sounds like a strategy to me.
- STORY ISSUES
•The story is too thin: 53 scripts
• The script’s questions are left unanswered: 29
• The plot unravels through contrivance: 28
• The script is tonally confused: 28
• The story is one big shrug: 17
Sure, if the objection isn’t about character, then it’s almost certainly about your story. To get by this tired pair of eyes, Good Unknown Screenwriter, you need to have enough story for a feature, to pay the damn thing off with absolute plausibility, and to lay it out on the page establishing the genre and tone from page 1, while blowing them away with an ending that in no way could have been anticipated, but that is absolutely inevitable, bringing Act 3’s re-order to Act 2’s chaos, changing the protagonist through the journey of the movie.
Crawl into the Reader’s mind awhile. Know thy enemy.
Start today.
