PARENTHETICALS
I am a parenthetical hater. Known as “wrylys,” these are line readings for the actors.
Let me ask you a common-sense question: Do you really believe an actress is going to remember that on page 66, in the middle of the line “the calla lilies are in bloom,” she will remember to sigh and smile and gaze longingly at the sea—because the screenwriter demands it?
I would ask you—no, I beg you—anytime you feel the urge to use:
(Smiling)
(Sighing)
(Laughing)
(Sarcastically)
(Looking right/left)
(Motioning with a hand/lip/chin)
(Whispering)
(Screaming)
Don’t do it. Just…don’t.
BILL
(screaming)
GET OUT!!!!
Bill must be really upset. You threw in the screaming parenthetical (not to mention the capped dialogue and four exclamation points!!!!) Good Reader, this is overkill.
Is there a time you need a parenthetical? Sure…
—Direct address to a character: (“to Larry”)
—If needed by the story:
Colonel Mustard drags Miss Scarlett into the Conservatory.
COLONEL MUSTARD
(pulls out a wrench)
And now, my dear...
Gotta have “pulls out a wrench.” Ain’t no scene without it. Same general rule as ever: If I need it for story, it stays. If not, it goes.
MUSIC: 
Generally, don’t write specific songs into the script unless you’re paying for it. If you want Muddy Waters “I’m A Man,” write BLUES MUSIC. The rule is: You pay the Piper, you pick the tune.
But wait a minute, what about Almost Famous?:
Up ahead, the door to their smallish hotel room is open.
Inside, a band party in full swing. A clunky early-model boom box segues from James Brown’s “Make It Funky” to Led Zeppelin’s “Gallows Pole.” Russell Hammond is the center of this party, jabbing out the chords, playing along on guitar. Much singing echoes all around.
Cameron Crowe can afford to pay Led Zeppelin. Can you? And how could you make a movie about music like Almost Famous without musical references?
How about one from a non-music movie, Pet Cemetery:
The garden is a plot of about half an acre. JUD comes trundling slowly along a row, pushing a wheelbarrow. There are several pumpkins in it.
JUD is wearing old khaki gardening pants and a Ramones sweatshirt. He’s wearing his headphones and we can hear the Romantics doing “What I Like About You.” JUD is singing along and bopping a little--as much as his arthritis will allow, if you can dig it.
No, I can’t dig it. Why oh why do I need the Romantics? Because it establishes character? The Ramones t-shirt says it all. Unless story is influenced by bad New Wave music and you need it as set up, leave it out. The general guideline applies: Don’t put the specific songs in screen direction unless absolutely necessary.
CREDIT SEQUENCES:
I don’t specify them. Yes, I’ve read dozens of scripts that do. If you can justify the need for the reader to know where your Credit Sequence rolls, then be my guest and add it. For a spec script, I wouldn’t bother.
FOREIGN LANGUAGES:
If you want to mix Spanish words with English, sprinkle it in, but just a sprinkle. You need to communicate. What if the reader doesn’t speak Spanish? You can explain it, as in the movie Spanglish:
...the mother leans down, gives three quick kisses--power pecks, to the girl’s cheeks, and then an admonition in Spanish:
MOTHER
Una lagrima...sola una sola...haz la major possible.
NARRATOR
“One tear...only one...so make it a good one.”
This was my mother’s instruction to me.
Or, you can put it entirely in the screen direction, as in The Godfather:
SOLLOZZO
I am going to talk Italian to Mike.
MCCLUSKEY
Sure, you two go right ahead; I’ll concentrate on my veal and my spaghetti.
SOLLOZZO now begins in rapid Sicilian. MICHAEL listening carefully and nodding every so often. Then MICHAEL answers in Sicilian, and SOLLOZZO goes on. The WAITER occasionally brings food; and they hesitate while he is there; then go on.
Then MICHAEL, having difficulty expressing himself in Italian, accidentally lapses into English.
MICHAEL
(using English for emphasis)
Most important...I want a sure guarantee that no more attempts will be made on my father’s life.
Safest bet: Subtitle it in your screen direction once, clearly seen: “Mandarin, with English subtitles.” Then roll the dialogue in English. Here’s how, from Pearl Harbor:
The last man to enter the room and take his place is ADMIRAL YAMAMOTO. Harvard educated, Yamamoto is an object of veneration and suspicion among the men of the war council. Yamamoto bows, sits, and looks across the table at his friend Genda, who can’t hide his fear.
Yamamoto glances to the far end of the table where NISHIKURA, chief of the War Council, sits glowering. Their discussion is in Japanese, with subtitles.
NISHIKUR
So you join us, Admiral. Some of us thought your education at an American university would make you too weak to fight the Americans.
YAMAMOTO
If knowledge of opponents and careful calculation of danger is taken as weakness then I have misunderstood what it means to be Japanese.
NISHIKURA
The time has come to strike!
Or, as in this example from 15 MINUTES:
OLEG RAZGUL, stands in line behind Emil. Oleg is big. Not tall – but wide. A wrestler’s body. Emil looks at Oleg. The following is in CZECH and subtitled in ENGLISH.
EMIL
Don’t fool around.
OLEG
Okay.
